What Happens When Magicians DON'T Want To Duel
by Kawaii Kuroi Mahotsukai
Summary: O.o; Whoopee. My very first single-pairing monster-centric fic! Magician of Black Chaos/Dark Magician


O.o; I am aware this is pretty damned strange. I was bored.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Quit laughing at me.  
  
Warning: Shounen-ai! And implied yaoi. And a very frustrated Magician of Black Chaos, if you get my drift *nudgenudgewinkwink*  
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It was a boring evening in the Shadow Realm.   
"Party? THIS is a party?" Kageri made a face. "This is BORING! And this stupid suit's uncomfortable..." He absently yanked at his black bow tie, grumbling. Akuma just snickered, brushing a stray lock of black hair out of his eyes.  
"Well, it IS a dinner party. From what I've heard, they're supposed to be boring." The chaos mage absently adjusted his shirtcuffs.  
"......Poo." The Dark Magician made an annoyed little face, then perked up. "I have an idea!" He climbed up on a chair and gave a yell. "HEY! ANYONE WANNA HEAR A STORY?!"   
  
Everyone in the room instantly gathered around him- Kageri was quite a storyteller, for a youth of twenty.  
  
"Okay. This is a story about the time I babysat. Akuma was naturally not happy about it..."  
  
"And so, my friends, the story ends. The handsome prince married the beautiful princess, and they all lived happily ever after. Well, except for the wicked sister, who had been skinned, but that's the way the story goes!" The magician who sat on the corner of the hearth, surrounded by awestricken children, ended his tale with a flourish of his staff, dissipating the illusionary prince and princess.  
  
"But what happened after?" One tyke, who was sitting on his knee, piped up.  
  
"Well, the princess decided the prince was too rough for her and ran off with a little nancy of a footman, and the good prince had them hunted down and shot." A little ripple of laughter flowed through the semicircle, and the girl sitting on the magician's knee smiled up at him.  
  
"I know who you were in that story."  
Kageri smiled at that. "And who was I, Yume? The prince?"  
"Nope. The footman."   
  
In the uproarious laughter that followed, the Dark Magician had a task on his hands just trying to retain a little of his dignity.  
"You're DEFINATELY related to Kijutsu." The young magician laughed and shooed the small girl off. "Go on, it's your bedtime."   
  
As soon as the children had all filed off to their homes, Kageri grinned and called softly, "Akuma? You can come out now, they're gone."  
"How long have you known I was here?" The Magician of Black Chaos materialized out of the shadows, pouting, and Kageri giggled into his hand.  
"I know you entirely too well for you to pull that trick off on me. Sensed the magic as soon as you cloaked yourself." He rose to his feet, then sauntered over to Akuma and kissed him chastely, leaning contentedly into the other's possessive embrace. "So, how did you like my story?"  
"Erm..." The magician paused to consider for a moment, then grinned. "What answer will get you into the bedroom fastest?" He countered, his brown eyes all aglitter with mischief.  
"Uhm..." Kageri sputtered, blushing. Akuma chuckled.  
"I MUST do that more often." He gently removed one arm from the slightly shorter magician's waist and ruffled his hair. "You're adorable when you blush."  
"No, I'm sexy when I blush." Kageri countered, grinning cheesily. Akuma blinked, then laughed, tapping the goofy magician on the nose.   
"You scamp."  
"Come on, you KNOW it's true." A grin, and one _VERY_ suggestively raised eyebrow.  
"Was that an invitation?" Brown eyes narrowed, a smile dancing in their depths.  
"You know me. I think you can guess." A smirk.  
"Yes. Yes I can."   
"Then what are you waiting-MMMPH!" Kageri was instantly shut up by a kiss rough enough to bruise. He wasn't going to complain, however, because piles of mush do not have the wherewithal to complain. Even thought was thrown over the edge as one graceful hand began slipping under his shirt, but just as things were getting good...  
  
"I summon the Dark Magician!"  
  
"Crap!" Akuma snarled as Kageri vanished from his arms in a wisp of cobalt blue smoke, his sharp ears absently absorbing the rustle of clothing in another room as the Dark Magician hurriedly donned his armour and vanished to the dueling field.   
  
"Damn it, Pharaoh, why do you always choose the most goddamn inoppurtune times to duel?!"  
  
Meanwhile, back on the dueling field...  
  
Yami groaned and stared at his watch. "Where on EARTH has that crazed magician gotten to?"  
Seto smirked. "He probably got scared and ran away."   
"Actually, you caught me at a bad time." Kageri appeared on the field, flushed, sweaty, and rumpled, his staff clenched upside down in his left hand as he hastily shoved his hat out of his eyes with his right. Yami's eyes widened as he bit his lip and puffed out his cheeks, shaking with silent laughter. Seto narrowed his eyes at the magician.  
"What happened to you?" Kageri flushed, half-angrily and half-embarrassedly.  
"I'll have you know-"  
"-I was trying to seduce him." Akuma said calmly, as he stepped out of a portal next to the flustered mage, winding a possessive arm around the other's waist.  
  
"HEY! You're not supposed to come out until you're summoned with the Dark Magic Ritual!" Seto squawked angrily.  
"I didn't want to wait. Consider this a 'Special' summoning." Akuma countered, drawing Kageri back against him and nuzzling the side of his neck, a 'And-what-the-hell-do-YOU-intend-to-do-about-it?' look in his eyes.  
"I didn't code 'Duel monster gets horny' into the Duel Disks as a reason for a Special Summoning!" The CEO protested. Akuma shrugged.  
"Consider it as having been done for you."  
Yami really lost it at this, forcing tears of mirth out of his red eyes as he rolled on the pavement, laughing, while Kageri just blushed, and Seto grumbled under his breath.  
"Damned horny magicians..."  
"I heard that, Kaiba." Akuma smirked, then called a bit louder. "And, Ryuujin, Sennen, Sakura? Don't even try it. I've been tormented by brats all day, and I am one pissed-off necromancer."  
  
The only reply from the three Blue-Eyes in the CEO's hand was a faint triple "Meep!"  
  
Yuugi got tired of Yami not telling him what was going on right about now, and took forcible control of their shared body. The sight that greeted his innocent eyes was nothing short of insane. His Magician of Black Chaos was doing unspeakable..... things..... to his Dark Magician, who seemed to be... enjoying it?   
  
Suddenly, Yuugi decided his soul room was the best place for him, after all.  
  
Akuma snickered, watching the change from yami to (horrified) hikari and back again, all the while leaving a slow trail of kisses along the Dark Magician's neck. Said magician was having a VERY hard time trying not to moan.  
"....'Kuma..... this isn't... a good place for this...!" He squeaked, trying halfheartedly to squirm out of Akuma's arms. He failed, of course.  
"I see no problem with what I'm doing." Akuma nipped at the Dark Magician's ear, smirking. "At least, I don't hear you complaining."  
A whimper from Kageri. "S-shut up.... You're not LETTING me complai-OH!" He involuntarily yelped as Akuma bit his neck.  
"Hush, you." Akuma grinned as he scooped Kageri up in his arms. "The pharaoh wins." The duo vanished in a poof of smoke.  
  
Seto squawked angrily as his Duel Disk malfunctioned. "DAMNED HORNY MAGICIANS!"  
  
"... And that's the story of the time Akuma embarrassed me and scarred Yuugi-sama for life." Kageri grinned and nodded, patting the blushing Magician of Black Chaos on the head.   
"But what happened afterwards?" Ryuujin piped up.  
"Um, erm....."   
"Uhm, well..." Both Akuma and Kageri blushed cherry red, stammering.  
In the uproarious laughter that followed, nobody noticed the two magicians vanishing through a portal in the shadows.  
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Authoress' notes!  
Thanks to Darth for beta-reading..... hope you like this!  
And thanks to Vegena-chan, for spurring me on with her compliments.  
  
This is dedicated to you gals! Thankies!  
  
Now: See that little drop down menu? Select "Submit review" and do so. 


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